


do not accept the fate of the moon (burn yourself)

by hyejuul



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, I cried writing this, hyewon is implied, hyewon soulmates though, only angsty in the beginning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:27:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24152809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyejuul/pseuds/hyejuul
Summary: Olivia Son doesn’t think she’s ever felt anything but burning sensations since she was born.Something about flames seem to be drawn towards her, like the heat sinks its way into her skin and bones and burns her from the inside out.It’s how she goes about most things, never looking beyond the surface, refusing to see the complexity behind situations and always, always getting burned in the end
Relationships: Park Chaewon | Go Won/Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye
Comments: 1
Kudos: 45





	do not accept the fate of the moon (burn yourself)

**Author's Note:**

> This turned out a lot longer than I originally intended but I think I'm getting over my writer's block so tada. Yes I cried while writing this, and no it was not just because I was listening to Frank Ocean the entire time. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy :)
> 
> (I didn't go back over this after I finished so I apologize for any mistakes)

****///

Olivia Son doesn’t think she’s ever felt anything but burning sensations since she was born.

Something about flames seem to be drawn towards her, like the heat sinks its way into her skin and bones and burns her from the inside out.

She’s born on a boiling summer day near the edges of the city, the sun filtering the room and heating everything in its wake. Her mother is burning and sweating through the birth and the heat, her father wiping beads of sweat that flow like a river down her face. He isn’t fairing much better, he’s sweat through two different shirts by now and has to keep handing his eldest daughter water so she doesn’t get dehydrated.

She’s born into heat, feels it on her skin and in her veins even when she’s too young to understand what the difference is.

When she’s 3 she burns herself on the stove in her family kitchen, much too young to understand how to consciously distinguish hot and cold. Metal simply looked like metal, and she wanted to touch.

It’s how she goes about most things, never looking beyond the surface, refusing to see the complexity behind situations and always, always getting burned in the end. There’s a scar on her right arm from the aftermath of the burn, a daily reminder that she will always be too young and too naive.

Four months after she turns 11 she wakes up in a sweat, caused by the heat radiating from deeper inside of her house. She’s still too young to quite understand why her older sister is screaming at her to wake up, her bedroom window smashing to pieces and dark, thick smoke curling out into the open air. The smell of all her belongings burning sticks with her, and no matter how many times she tries to wash the stench out of her favorite wolf plushie, she always finds herself falling asleep to the smell of smoke.

There’s many things in Olivia’s life that remind her she is all too young and all too naive, like how she can’t ever understand the sly smirks that dawn her classmates faces when she enters a room, or how she fails to notice the snickering that follows her down the halls.

Olivia is different, she knows this. She knows she’s not the average teenage girl going through school and becoming an adult. No, there’s something different about her life and it takes her lungs burning to understand what it is.

She thinks of herself as cursed to feel the burning heat for the rest of her life and decides to try and play God in her situation. She turns to sticks of burning smoke, leaves that burn slowly and invade her senses and her lungs. She hopes that maybe the burning will take away from the rest of the burning around her life.

It’s no surprise that she dies in the heat as well. It’s unbearable but she has no way out of it. The car around her is in flames and she’s stuck to the passenger seat of her best friend's car. She refuses to look to her left to see what the heat and the crash have done to Gowon Park.

Despite thinking that the flames had already taken her best friend, she feels a hand curl around her hot skin, feels it squeeze until a soft voice echoes through the burning car.

“I’m so sorry Olivia, I’m sorry I couldn't stop the burning”

She curses God and the universe for doing this to her, for letting her get close enough to someone for her heat to burn them as well. She swore Gowon was her soulmate, she feels almost nothing but pure guilt for bringing the burning sensations to someone else. Tears fill her eyes as she squeezes the hand in hers, but they do nothing to calm the heat on her skin.

Gowon had always told her she would bear the heat with her though. No matter what it took she would always be there to calm the flames or stoke the ashes when they needed it. She promised to never leave until the fire was gone, washed away by love and calm waves.

She guesses this is what Gowon promised to her, to always be there until the end, until the flames would stop burning her.

Gowon had brought her a different kind of heat, the kind that sat low in her heart and stoked higher and higher the more she got to know her. It was the kind of heat that she didn’t mind sitting with, the kind that she welcomed into her life and into her heart. It was comforting, it was love itself.

The flames have teased her all of her life though, so she closes her eyes and lets them engulf her in her last moments.

“I wouldn’t have wanted anyone to burn me more than you, Gowon”

////

Across a strip of space and in the ripples of time, there’s a girl being born on a chilly fall day. There is no burning summer heat, no fires being set and no smoke to curl into lungs. The tall buildings in the city give relief to the hospital room from the sun. 

Son Hyejoo is born only into calming, loving warmth.

The hospital room is flowing with cool air for her mother, and her father and older sister are wearing enough clothes to feel comfortable in the chill. The sun provides relief in the cold, and her parents encourage her to chase the comfort.

When she’s 5 she doesn’t earn a scar from her carelessness, and when she’s 11 she doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night to her home burning to the ground.

When she’s 19 there’s no cigarettes to burn her lungs and no lighters to run her fingers through.

When she turns 23 she sets out for a local coffee shop, basking in the comforting heat that the sun brings in the cool fall. When she arrives at her destination, unscathed and no burn marks donning her skin, she enters and catches a glimpse of long, blonde hair before a body collides into hers. It takes a moment for her senses to come to, but when they do she notices the stinging sensation on her arm and the now ruined coffee spilled on the ground in front of her. Only this time, she doesn’t burn, but barks out a yelp at the chill of iced coffee soaking through her shirt sleeve.

When she looks up she finds wide, shivering eyes and a small frame, already blabbing through an apology and rushing to grab napkins from a nearby table.

“Oh god I’m so sorry, you’re probably freezing already! I’m so clumsy I’m so sorry I-“

It’s in that moment that Hyejoo feels a shift in the universe around her, and all she can do is smile down at the stain on her sleeve, bask in the feeling of ice-cold coffee slithering down her arm.

She turns to the girl babbling in front of her who is now dabbing her arm with napkins and still spitting out apology after apology.

With a burst of confidence that she’s never felt before, she blurts out, “I wouldn’t want anyone else to freeze me more than you”

The girl stops and widens her eyes even farther at her, and the words replay once in her mind before she realizes what she said.

“Shit, sorry, that was-, um, I’m sorry that was really weird I don’t know why I said that”

Hyejoo feels the slight heat in her cheeks as the girl laughs and gives her a smile that almost looks like a smirk, “You’re cute”

“O-Oh?”

The girl laughs again, louder and bolder this time at how flustered Hyejoo seems, “I’m in a bit of a rush right now, obviously since I didn’t see you coming in, but if you’d like I can make up for spilling my coffee on you and buy you one tomorrow?”

Hyejoo smiles at the girl and nods shyly, watching as she pulls a pen from the side pocket of her book bag and writes down her number on the arm that was once covered in cold coffee.

After she gives another apology and a wave, the girl is out the door. She looks down at her arm, noticing the name written underneath the number.

“Park Chaewon”, she hums, “Pretty name for an even prettier girl”

With her clothes only slightly stained, arm fully intact with no burn marks, and a new name circling through her head, Hyejoo steps into the line of the coffee shop and smiles softly to herself.

Hyejoo will not burn.

Instead, she’ll rise from the ashes of old flames and start anew.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, and of course let me know what you think!
> 
> You can find me on ig @ kimberlylippington or on twitter @kimlippington


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